The Ghetto: Being a Single White Mom Living in a Predominately Black Community

I have lived around the world and in graduate school one of my best friends was black. My family is from Brooklyn, New York. So I did not give it a second thought moving into a predominately black community. As many people will a test I have many friends which also happen to be black. And while I don’t consider where I live to be the ghetto, I hear this complaint often from my Father. He can’t stand that my son and I live in what he considers the ghetto.

To me people are people and you have good ones and bad ones in all hues but there seems to be cliche's in this particular ghetto which I would like to share with you.

Most notable is that I am not trusted within this community but no one really dare touch me as I am a single white Mom of a disabled child. Everyone seems to acknowledge that I have a very serious life and I will go to no end to protect my son and myself. Of recent I have reported I was assaulted. My assaulter was the only other white male living in this area. He had an undergraduate from Stanford and a graduate degree from Yale and was or is a member of MENSA. So I would imagine only white on white fighting in this area.

In this particular ghetto there seems to be a cultural divide amongst the religious senior citizens who also happen to be black, the young Christians black people and the disenfranchised young black people. What is for certain is I am out as a white person which is alright with me. There are a few exceptions. I have a friend who was married to a military officer and stationed in England who lives here. She is very nice but she is very family focused as am I and therefore we don’t have a lot left over at the end of the day to share. We basically hit the bed to get our few hours sleep and then get up the next day and do it all over again.

Now this is just an observation of my community and I live in low income housing. In this economy there is no sense in living in expensive housing. I have other black friends who are educated and more affluent and they live entirely different lives. This is just an analysis of cliché’s in this low income housing area.

The elderly black community are exceptionally wise and want absolutely nothing to do with the disenfranchised black community. They are religious and worship Jesus and don’t have a racists bone in their body. They are exceptionally anti-crime and anti-drug. They look out for their families and keep a mindful eye on the community but will not intercede when a crime is being commissioned as they do not wish to get hurt. I love the elderly black community who seem to have more common sense then most elderly people.

The young Christian Black Community is a conduit to everything within the black community. They have a social tolerance for crime and those who are disenfranchised as they have poor relations with the police. They also believe that their brothers and sisters just haven’t been saved by Jesus yet. And that no one finds Jesus in jail. This group is exceptionally hard working, smart, ambitious and enfranchised. They also are networked through the entire community with both the Christians and the criminals.

The final element is the disenfranchised young people who happen to be black. The first thing I noticed is they all drive luxury cars while on welfare? They have beautiful gold jewelry and can afford $800 coach purses. There is an element of prostitution within my community. At the end of the month when the rent is due I have one neighbor who has men lined up for a little loving. So I would have to add that this particular group of people have low self esteem and are promiscuous. They also believe it is there predetermined fate to be anti-social criminals within their own community. They are absolutely shameless about their source of income as if they have bought every police officer and politician and they are completely unemployed. Everyone claims they are kin to everyone else and when you see their mating habits you get the feeling it maybe possible.

Really it is no different for us then living anywhere else. As stated before I have lived in other countries and my best friend in graduate school was from the Cayman Islands and my other best friend was from Taiwan. I like diversity and I feel it makes us stronger as a country. The only thing I have noticed is that it is a little bit louder but that just maybe the elderly speaking loud because they are losing their hearing.

The only concern I have is that the young disenfranchised people who happen to be black are not nice to my son because he is disabled. I worry this will make him a racist. My son has never been brought up a racist but the disenfranchised young blacks are teaching him hatred and I loath that. But what can I expect from people who are not educated and drive luxury cars without jobs while collecting welfare?

And while I have enjoyed my time here it will not be forever. My son will only have this experience for a year and then we will move on. I just don’t want this to leave a permanent impression on him. And the other people who are black who are our friends who are educated and more socially mobile are good to my son so hopefully it all balances out in the end.