A List of My Worst & Best Christmas Gifts of All Time

So I have been writing so many happy things about the Holidays it occurred to me that I might want to make a list of my all time worst Christmas gifts of all time. We all get them things we pretend to like but don’t. Well this is a list of gifts I have received from fiancés. I think when I provide you with the list you will understand why I am not married.

And by all means if you are a man and are considering giving any of these items to your beloved think again.

· Soap and not the fancy kind but dial. I am a practical girl but something a little better then dial would seem appropriate for the Holidays.

· Stationary which would have been great but it had my and my fiancés name on it before we had the wedding invitations printed up. It seemed like more of gift for him than me.

· Hangers. Joan Crawford would have had a snit. They were wire hangers. Nothing says I love you like wire hangers.

· Tassels. I’m not that kind of girl. The fiancé once again had expectations that were excessive and it is not a very practical gift. Really tassels don't keep a girl warm in winter.

· Deodorant. Didn’t know that could be a gift either but it was men’s. He was an odd fellow.

· Batteries. No not a laptop battery but AA for the remote control. When I am in relationships I never get to watch television. I just cede the television to the man.

· Trash bags. I was shocked as well. They were hefty. He explained they were for cleaning up after our holiday. I wanted to put him in the hefty bag and out on the curb that Christmas.

· Vacuum Cleaner. Need I explain why that is not a very loving gift?

· Rotisserie. I am a vegetarian. It is very hard to put zucchini on a rotisserie. I know I tried to make use of it.

· Mop. Again do I really need to explain?

· Laundry Basket with laundry detergent in it. Yippee!!

· Make up because nothing tells a women she is ugly like her fiancé giving her make up.

· Dishes. I hate having to do dishes. And when I am in a relationship I am always the one stuck with that.

· Scale.

· Granny panties or what I like to refer to as giant English boomers which one could parachute into Normady with.

· Girdle and I wasn’t fat. He thought they were attractive and every woman should wear one. I dump that one on Christmas.

· Gold Men’s Rolex. I need the bigger face to read the time. I refuse to wear glasses. And I can carry it off.

· Emerald Rings

· A bottle of nice wine and a poem. It made me cry.

· Jewelry especially gold and platinum.

· Vacation tickets to Holiday in Europe for New Years.

· Pretty soaps and lotions.

· Day at the spa for a beauty treatment. Much better way to approach me about wearing more make up after a massage and a day of beauty.

· My favorite perfume.

· Long walk on the beach holding hands.

· Decorating the tree together.

· Beautiful Christmas dinner which I didn’t have to clean up.

· Louis Vuitton Pursue

· Louis Vuitton Luggage It could have only been better if I had been given Louis Vuitton himself

· Diamond earrings.

· Pearls

It may seem like a really materialistic list but we only covered the best and worst Christmas presents. I have had some really horrible Christmas presents. I guess because I am German and we always wish to have pretty and practical things. I hope in sharing this with you laughed as hard as I did when I wrote it. It is one of those things that wasn’t funny at the time but in hindsight is terribly funny.